OK, first. I get it. I'm on facebook a lot. You would be too. I do a lot of shit at this computer, both necessary and not. I also find I get along with people better if there's a computer screen involved.
A recent study said regular facebook users are narcissistic and since this study I've heard people saying they would cut down on their FB time.
Dudes, just embrace it.
Anyway, you know those super annoying "likes," right? Some examples:
Dear Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
Not too bad. A twitch, but not too bad. FSM knows I've a rather undisciplined mouth at times and could use forgiving friends. But you know, ones I can actually see.
Our God is an AWESOME God! Like if you agree!
Uhm, thanks. That song is now stuck in my head (if you haven't heard it, it's pretty much that, repeated.)
If God is for us, who can be against us? Click like if you agree!
A bunch of people, actually.
Anyway, you get the point.
The thing is, I've never seen any that I'd actually like to press "like" on relating to agnosticism/atheism or liberalism. They don't exist that I can tell (also, i'm not big on clicking on these things. i've clicked on about two and then a third I didn't mean to click on because i'm an idiot)
So here are my suggestions:
Evolution is not a 'belief.' It is strong scientific theory. Open a book. Click like if you agree!
I stopped paying tithing and got this great job!
Freedom of religion includes freedom from religion.
I believe everyone has the right to life after they are born.
Missionaries: People who leave their families for two years so they can harass and lie to yours!
If god has ever answered a prayer for you and then later contradicted himself, click like!
Freedom of speech goes both ways, asshat.
Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It means you've been listening to Glenn Beck too much.
If you think God's last name ought to be Dammit, click like!
When Satan comes knocking at your door, don't let him in unless he brought that six pack with him.
Jesus was a heretic bastard who questioned authority, socialized with the sinners, and threw some motherfuckers out of a temple. Who the hell are you talking about?
It's Christmas time! Time to be with family, to embrace hope, be happy and cozy and--oh yeah. Bitch like a 2 year old about having to share your holiday with the Jews and Blacks.
These are half-assed attempts at humor (though I am partial to that last one), but I couldn't wait. Especially after my last few posts.
Any others you'd like to recommend?
I wish I could like this post. ;) That sounded much less corny in my head.
ReplyDeleteI want to click "like" on every one of these. You are good! Man, and I would totally alienate so many passive aggressive friends. Score!
ReplyDeleteHere are a few possible additions (not nearly so awesome):
God loves gays. He only hates bigots and hypocrites.
Critical thinking. It's not just for smart people. Oh, wait.
Unlike your prescription meds for depression, marijuana is not addictive and does not cause spontaneous anal discharge. It's an herb, for chrissake. Just sayin'.
I believe in your fundamental First Amendment right to live a religiously oppressed life. 'Cause I'm tolerant like that.
This is your brain on Glenn Beck's chalkboard. (with a pic of a horse's ass)
I also support the Priesthood. Click "like" if you believe all the brethren with boobs bigger than mine should invest in some serious cross-your-heart underwire support. I mean, watching those ta-ta's a-jiggling under the G's is giving me dirty thoughts.
My favorite was your Glenn Beck one. Seriously, please make that your status soon so I don't have to steal it for myself.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCarla: :D
ReplyDeleteCD: Oh c'mon--your God loves gays one was great, and I giggled like crazy at the "critical thinking" one.
MC: Beat you to it. But please, steal it :)
Annalee: First, I don't appreciate the guilt trip.
Second, so am I.
I decided before beginning this blog that I cannot keep writing according to other people's sensitivities anymore. They don't give a shit about mine.
We all have different views. Surely you know by now that I am surrounded by people who do not share mine (to say the *least*) and would likely ostracize or at the very best think little of me if I spoke up. And I care too much about what other people think.
So this is how I deal with it. This is my safe place. I'm working to not be cowered because someone I like threatens to not speak/deal with or listen to me anymore because of what I think.
I mean, there's open-mindedness and then there's "I don't agree with you I won't talk to you anymore."
Been there, done that. We can totally talk about my sentiments--I'm open for debate--but if you're not up for that then you're not up for that.
Hope you'll come back, but if you don't: thanks for stopping by again. I do wish you all the best.
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI really didn't intend for you to feel guilty. It's irrelevant what I think because this is your place. I have enjoyed your blog. I like that you're honest but it's hard to swallow sometimes. I've used this blog to search things out. You represent a perspective that I wonder about. I imagine you write a blog because you want to be read and you want feedback. I am probably the only commenter who takes things unkindly at times. I am not cutting you off; I want to keep an open line but perhaps this is not the best way. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by disagreeing with you here because this IS your safe place and I don't want to be a jerk. Sorry if I came off that way before. I am very open right now, I'm thinking about a lot of things but at some point I have to draw some conclusions, even if only temporarily, about how I think and feel. I wanted to share that with you because this IS a blog and you allow comments. But it's not an open forum and maybe that's what I really want. Neutral ground.
Seriously, it has been a pleasure!
Annalee
anna.lee1@hotmail.com
ReplyDeleteAnytime!
Annalee: You should know I welcome debate. This is totally an open forum as long as it's civil and I'm allowed to be just as forthright as others are. I never ever said "______ only welcome here." If I had, I would've told you to hightail it on yr first comment.
ReplyDeleteYou're not doing anything wrong by disagreeing with me. I just am, as you said, extremely sensitive to people cutting me off because of what I believe. It's happened a lot. But I get wanting to do that.
I realize this may just be "a break" and I can respect that, especially given where you are. I can relate with it. But when and if you are ready, let's talk about it.
My only problem with commenters/other people is with those who say "you're wrong you're wrong you bitch go to hell and buuuurn."
This post was as much social/political commentary as it was expressing my beliefs.
I hope you'll stick around for my next post. At least what I plan for my next post. It depends on whether or not I ignore my studying in order to get it out before I forget and lose my gumption. Which happens a lot.
And I've a test coming up. And I'm behind. Sigh.