Sunday, September 5, 2010


Sometimes, I feel absolutely no emotional or intellectual attachment to the church, religion, or god.

Other times, I want them all back so bad I'd cut off my right arm.

I'm happier when experiencing the former and am grateful to say that, right now, that's where I'm at.


  1. I find myself mourning what I have lost. I look at others who still happily believe - TBMs - with a sort of nostalgic envy. But then I remember how much it hurt me deep inside to never be good enough for the religion. It is then that I realize that I never could have been as happy as they are, because I just don't fit the mold.

  2. kiley: yay! (good to be in the company of awesome people)

    MC: Eric and I talked a little about this today (again) and he asked what he always asks: "What if we were still in the church?" and I answered the same way I always do. "We'd be miserable."

    I have a short memory, it seems. And a propensity for idealizing things that ought not be idealized. It's good to be reminded.

  3. Right, you would be miserable! But it's hard not to be bitter about the experience now and then. Glad you're in a good place now -- that'll show them. Nothing drives TBM's crazier than a happy ex-Mormon!

  4. It is so true - You would be miserable. I went to church just once this summer and I could hardly sit through the meeting. So boring and so many half truths...

  5. I can definitely relate. Except for religion; as disillusioned as I am about the real origins of all the rituals and beliefs of my Catholic upbringing, I still like rituals. So I like to participate in religion regardless of my belief in its veracity.