Saturday, October 2, 2010

Lust: In Honor of Boyd K Packer

First, I'm totally disappointed that I couldn't watch Conference now that I'm hearing all the bullshit. Maybe it's a good thing, though. I can only take so much and it seems the breath-ren are doling it out in spades.

So I started this last night and felt a bit hesitant to post it. But you know, following Boy-I'd-love-to-Kick-Packer's talk, I thought I should post about people I've lusted after over the years to one degree or another. Men and women. So suck on that, asshole. It's not a fucking choice who you're attracted to.

But you know that.


Yes, I know. "But it totally is who you choose to be with."

Happiness is only a choice insofar as you are happy with your choice, motherfucker. But this isn't about happiness, is it?


You should know this: I have always had a weird thing for blonde men (dammit, spell check! it is spelled BLONDE). It's something I didn't realize until a few years ago. I've dated men with dark brown hair, but in the end it's the blonde boys. It always confused me that I ended up marrying a man with dark brown hair...until I discovered he had blonde hair as a kid. SO CUTE.

So here are my progression of celebrity loves. I don't understand one or two of them, but y'know. Kids.

Brad Pitt, Circa 1995...ish.

Good, god! What was I thinking? He's so much sexier now. EVEN THEN when he had short hair. And I'm not even thinking about his character, I mean, who gives a fuck, right? Well, haha. Anyways. There were many other great pics of him before and after this time, but I had a pic more similar to this one up on my wall. He had dreads, though. I don't get it.

Maybe it was the hair color. STILL!

But shiiit. Brad and Angelina?

Are you kidding me?

I know many straight women who'd totally hit that, let alone bisexual women. I would. Though I hear the kids these days get all hot and bothered over Megan Fox. But, y'know, I'm already taken by Angie here. The pout! Good god!

So, then there's Jordan, whatshisname. Who cares.

Oh! My 14-year-old self swoons!

Then of course, there's Mr. Depp:

I don't think much of Johnny now, but he was my 8th grade research project (1994?). Look at that face! He's all gaunt now. :(

More recent:
Jaammmes. You were the only hot thing about Twilight, and while I realize that's not saying much, I'm still saying it.

He is a little pasty, though. Not really my thing. But I suppose that's what you get with blonde boys.

Alexander. Yes, I would call you that. But Eric works, too. Obvs. Then again, we don't have to talk. Just make noises.

I don't know what it is about this man, but my god. He is a little on the skinny side for me, but his eyes. The way he growls. My god.

There are and have been others throughout the years. I've already brought up Angelina.

Tori Amos, anyone?

omg. Do any of you know how amazing this woman is? I've loved her since...well, around 1995, if not slightly earlier. A guy who hung out at my stepdad's shop introduced me to Tori. He had a big thing for her and soon I was just--you know, like you look up to your big, super-cool sister. I think. Not entirely sure. But she is the reason I love female red heads. They are something fiercely awesome.

(yesyes I know she isn't a natural ginger, but whatever. it works well for her)

Anyway, first girl crush--though I kind of hesitate to say even that. It must have been some kind of attraction, because I was at the same period of time a HUUUUGE Alanis Morissette fan (had my own semi-successful website), but I wasn't, like, all over Alanis either. I don't know what the distinction is. Tori taught me a bit about sexuality--my own and of others--what was okay, whatever. Fucking amazing music. If you haven't heard her, lemme know. I've plenty to recommend.

Also, while we've got Alexander Skarsgard on the mind:

I didn't know she used to be a brunette! (you have to look 'em up. this was a pic i liked the most and thought most people would recognize)

So pretty. I don't know what I think of her acting in True Blood, but there *is* something about the gap in her front teeth. I didn't like it much at first, but it's cute.


Evanescence's Amy Lee (quick aside: I DID NOT KNOW about the eyebrow piercing! Woo!)

But seriously--gorgeous. And awesome. Did you see her eyes?

I love eyes.

And pouts. Jesus.


  1. Hear hear! Lust away. I'm right there with you at Alexander Skarsgard. He is one tall drink of Swedish yum.

    It's funny, one of my friends keeps a "Guy List" of actors she'd love to hook up with (in a sort of "if I met them" Friends way); I keep a Gay List. There are many fine male actors, singers, musicians, etc. but they're kind of obvious, and there are also oodles of beautiful women--Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, Cate Blanchett, and yes, Angelina Jolie.

  2. OMG, Natalie Portman. Yes. But mostly in V with the shaved head. HOT. And Tori Amos, damn. I love her. I always had a thing for Alanis, too, before she went corporate. I was the opposite, finding Alanis more attractive while being inspired by Tori but not turned on.

    It might seem weird but I think Kevin Spacey is hot in that gawky intellectual way. (Or at least I did, before that horrible gambling movie ruined it.) I've always loved uptight, quiet, brilliant men in button-down shirts. They make for the best sexual fantasies. Hell, I even married one of those, and I wasn't disappointed.

    Have you seen Grey's Anatomy? My current crush is a toss-up between Sara Ramirez and Sandra Oh. I guess I don't have any guy-celebrity crushes at the moment.

  3. Well, obviously it's not a *complete* list ;)

    I don't know that I'm huge on Natalie Portman (not saying she's not pretty, just not attracted to her--i know! there's a difference? gasp!), but there's always Mandy Moore. Which is kind of weird to me for some reason.

    Who else, who else.

    I DO think Lady Gaga is cute. Especially in her Poker Face vid. But, y'know, she's bordering on jail bait.

    Fergie...sometimes. Ellen Page.

    I've always loved the dominating-take-control kind of guy, but I'm not sure I love what that says about me, considering where I stand on all of that now (gender roles, etc) and really how it made me feel. I also like the rough artsy musician guy (think Trent in "Daria"), even though the future is a bit bleak for them.

    Eric isn't like any of that, though. He's extremely laid back but he does have his surprising side to him. He's very, very good for me.

  4. I was so into Tori Amos in the early '90s. Not so much like you, ha ha, but I loved her music, and piano, of course. A line from one of her songs is still one of my favorite quotes: "So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts, what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?" That line always struck me because I thought my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, thought I wasn't deep enough for him. (The straightlaced Mormon girl and the artist.)

    I think Johnny Depp is totally hotter now than in the '90s. Love the hair and the mustache.

    I've always been attracted to unusual celebrities. I've had a thing for Eric Stoltz, had this strange obsession with Jeremy Piven for quite a while, was way into Tim Robbins for a while. Now, I'm a bit too obsessed with Ben Folds. My husband, and probably even my kids, knows I have a crush on him. He is quite dorky looking but his lyrics and killer piano skills get me every time.

    My most mainstream attraction recently is Zac Efron. I know, it's totally wrong because he's so young but there it is anyway.

  5. omg, i had forgotten all about Zac Efron. young meat, sure, but when the hell did THAT happen?