Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Don't Talk Shit.

I just discovered this gem of a blog. I don't know if its my mood tonight or what but the tone of this blog reads subversive.

LDS (Mormon) Stake Presidents [sic] Blog

And the comments! omg, the comments!

I'm giddy. This is--so far--a fantastic find.

Are you still here? Some snippets:

On vasectomies:

The handbook of instructions is clear on this subject. In the section entitled Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy) it states the following:
"The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control."

I don't see how someone can claim to feel good about doing something that the Church strongly discourages. 

I do!! I do!! Because it's bullshit, that's why!

Further,

The handbook goes on to clarify that surgical sterilization should be considered only if medical conditions jeopardize life or if someone is mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions.

Oh, no he didn't.

And the couple? Puh-lease. They're totally good for more kids, after all:

Wanting to get to the root of the problem I asked them where the idea came from.  They felt that with 1 year old twins and 3 other children at home they couldn't afford and didn't have the space for more.  Frankly I am disappointed at their lack of faith.  As prophesied Satan is deceiving the very elect.

This cannot be for real, y'all. It can't.

...right?


(oh the sign of good satire: you just dunno)

14 comments:

  1. Uhhh... OMG. I kind of can't freaking believe that the church handbook advocates eugenics. O. M. G.

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  2. Okay, that wasn't very articulate. But my reaction was pretty violent. Eugenics is the EXTREMELY unethical practice of sterilizing persons with mental illness and/or disability. The APA has black listed several of its former presidents because they were pro-eugenics in the late 1800s. This is 2011. The church's handbook was just revised. This is a hugely despicable, horrifying mis-step.

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  3. I think its a satire... judging by the comments that he makes... "When polygamy is brought back, you won't be eligible for a young bride."

    ...but then again, I have heard real life people talk like that.

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  4. After reading more, I'm pretty sure it's satire. Though there're people who talk/think/act like that, I can't imagine very many would write some of those things.

    Someone else noticed his favorite books included the CHI. It's that kind of stuff that gives it away for me.

    Still! so good for a laugh.

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  5. Hey, thanks for the tip! I like this joker's style and I'll ask Chanson if she'd like to add it to Outer Blogness.

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  6. He commented on my blog post about vasectomies. He may be satiric but I dn't think he's funny. If I want to hear that kind of shit, I'll go to church.

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  7. There is no way this is real. Did you read the post called "Endless Meetings" where he discusses correcting your wife's misbehavior through family prayer?

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  8. Winnie, unfortunately I can recall Mormons doing such things.


    I think this probably is satirical, but damn it's a close call. It's happening more often these days. Either the satirists are getting better or the nutbars are getting worse. I'm inclined to think the latter.

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  9. On sort of a tangent, last night I was watching some huge male elephant seals fight to the bitter end for the right to breed. Without thinking much about it I commented to Mike that I think people should have to do that too. There's a lot of breeding that goes on that really shouldn't.

    But sort of back on topic, the bishop should in no way be involved in a couple's personal choice to breed or not to breed. And as I commented on JZ's blog, it's gotta be a satire. A little off humor but definitely getting attention.

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  10. Oh, I believe you Diana. It's just all a little too one dimensional though. Like a dye job without highlights.

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  12. Such an honor to have you here, President.

    I think your hair is marvelous--dark enough to exude vitality, but enough gray to exude confidence and experience. Do you use Touch of Gray? Perhaps for a wild change you could try parting it from the opposite side. Would the Lord approve? Does the CHI have anything to say on this matter?

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  13. Thank you Lisa. It's an honor to be spoken of so highly on your blog. Then again being a stake president one gets used to being thus reverenced. I'm not sure how I will handle it when I become a general authority, but with my humility I'm sure I'll do just fine.

    Funnily enough I do use Touch of Gray, but since the new manuals do not specifically approve I will refrain from using such worldly substances going forward. I am preparing a talk to advise the sisters in my stake to follow their leader (my good self) and do likewise.

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