I saw this one coming, too.
But not quite like this.
Go read the article at Mormon.org.
See, my problem is not so much with this homosexual member of the church who chooses to deny herself EVERYTHING related to having an inkling of a romantic life (this particular paragraph is heart-wrenching:
I have now come to understand and accept my homosexuality as one of my crosses to bear in this life which will help strengthen my faith in Christ and will teach me to be obedient to my loving and merciful Heavenly Father. I know that if I continue to be obedient to my Father in Heaven that one day he will bless me with the righteous desires of my heart to marry a good man in the temple and to have a forever family of my own.)
but it is the perpetuation of the teaching--the myth--that those who leave are:
1) Forever bitter
2) Unhappy
3) Into drugs and alcohol and other unhealthy things to help deal with the depression
4) Merely suppressing that which they know to be true
But I'll be fair. She didn't say these things happened simply because she left (although it did happen after she left), but because she was trying to get over her depression over being a lesbian.
Now who encouraged that?
But don't worry. Now she knows it's just a "physical defect."
I know.
And it does bother me to say I'm sad for someone who is in the church because it pisses me off when people say they're sad for me for leaving, but this?
It's horrible.
That is a really heart-breaking read.
ReplyDeleteI hate the idea that if you're just a good, abstinent, cross-bearing gay during this life, you'll be magically "fixed" (while alive or in the hereafter) and have "normal" desires and marry a good man/woman.
But it's really the same idea as thinking that a lifelong Hindu will die, see that the Mormon church was right all along, and convert on the spot. It's arrogant and disrespectful of people's religions AND sexualities to think that they can be changed at the drop of a hat.
If anything, Mormonism is amazing at being disrespectful and contemptuous of other religions, worldviews, and ways of being that don't line up with a white dominated, patriarchal, heterosexist, conservative hierarchy. If it's different, it's wrong by default.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, as a gay ex-Mormon, I find few things more hideous about Mormonism than the way it destroys gay people and ruins their self-confidence and autonomy. When you convince someone that who they fundamentally are is evil, you've pretty much ruined them.
That is just plain icky.
ReplyDeleteIf you do a search for "homosexual" on the same page, some members have answered questions about the Church's stance on homosexuality. One guy, who says he's on his mission now, claims to be an "activist" against "bigotry and discrimination," and then goes on to explain that members are expected to be chaste outside of marriage anyway, and the Church supports anti-discrimination acts, so all's cool, dudes. Wonder where he'll be in a few years.
Arrogant is right, but it's worse than that because it fucks with people's happiness and their lives. They have an incredible power over people's lives and they abuse it. Life is too short to deny yourself happy things that hurt nobody.
ReplyDeleteNo joke, Chandelle. And I can't help but wonder where Marishia will be in a few years, yeah? As for the so-called "righteous gay friendly" members, they are so screwed up in their thinking. They don't see past the end of their (or the church's) nose. It's sad.
There, I said it and stand by it. It's *terrible*
Also, here's what I said on FB on John Dehlin's link (where I heard this from), another angle to consider:
it's not so much the homosexual part that i'm disappointed with [again, i saw this coming and its nothing new or sadly, surprising], but also the "I left the church, became totally bitter and got into drugs and booze and was really unhappy and now i'm back and am totally happy!" it feeds into everything they teach members to scare them from ever questioning--if you doubt, you leave, and if you leave, you're miserable and only suppressing what you know deep in your heart is true"
This is horrendous! She sounds like a PC-scrubbed drone just listen to this line from her: "I know that Heavenly Father loves the homosexual" Can you say zombie?
ReplyDeleteWhat really sucks is the fact that the Lesbian investigator who is about to come out to the sisters (fearing rejection and a "pray it away" response) is probably going to log onto Mormon.org and read this and think "Wow, I can do this for Jesus".
My heart is wrenching in the future pain I see.
This is really a piece of work.
ReplyDeleteI also agreed with your comments on MSP. What this does is it uses one person's anecdote to promote this idea that people who leave the church do so to sin, fall into bitter, angry, addicted lives, etc., So, now, some person could say, "Hey, Marishia herself told us that's how it works. She used to be one of you guys but now her life is better."
I wish someone like John Gustav-Wrathall could get a profile on mormon.org -- wouldn't that really be something to showcase someone who is a devout believer AND fully believes as well that God wants him to stick with his husband (18 years of rockin' in tandem).
But somehow, I suppose the church would rather showcase stories like Marishia's and not a story like John's. After all, since he will not suppress his "sinful" sexuality, he is excommunicated, despite his intense spirituality and testimony.
@Andrew: If he had a true testimony and a true commitment to the church (er, God), he wouldn't be living this "lifestyle" despite whatever beliefs he professes to have that are in line with the church. Can't pick and choose, y'know.
ReplyDeleteDuh.
right! i can't believe i forgot
ReplyDelete