tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post814724167253523818..comments2023-07-17T03:57:39.014-07:00Comments on The Liberal Agnostic Who Could: I'm justa girlLisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10268689890561878413noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-6297234457184043762011-07-07T19:38:03.618-07:002011-07-07T19:38:03.618-07:00I struggle with this too. I grew up with very supp...I struggle with this too. I grew up with very supportive parents and no sense of limitations because I was a girl. Honestly, until I got to BYU, I had never really felt/recognized any sexism directed at me. I got out of there pretty quickly. But, then I married a wardy whose family is nothing like my own and they have never made much of a secret about their disapproval of my non-SAHM ambitions. When I encounter chauvinism in the non-LDS realm, it's usually fairly direct, making an equally blunt response obvious and warranted. But, my LDS in-laws are always passive-aggressive about it. That makes me feel pretty powerless because if I then come back with a strong, direct response, I look/feel like a jerk. That passive-aggression gives them plausible deniability so they can then accuse you of over-reacting, mis-interpreting, or being too sensitive. It sucks. I'm getting to be comfortable with being a jerk when others are jerks to me first. I think that's fine.<br /><br />But, I also like Miss Victory's idea of calling them out by giving them an opportunity to defend their opinions and assumptions. I'm going to try that.<br /><br />Good luck! I feel ya!Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07988672152622654428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-59879258735572711972011-07-07T19:36:39.308-07:002011-07-07T19:36:39.308-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Alanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15574789617401655027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-90473211898662089592011-06-08T16:00:07.436-07:002011-06-08T16:00:07.436-07:00Last semester my roommate and I were walking to cl...Last semester my roommate and I were walking to class. We held the elevator for a guy and he quickly decided to start making conversation. He asked us what class we were going to and after we responded with "Strategic Culture and Analysis" the guy said "Oh so I'm assuming you guys are FCHD majors?". Being political science majors and staunch feminist democrats, we were horrified. At Utah State the Family Consumer and Home Development major consists of a 95% female majority. Although a very interesting and useful major, many women go into this program with the goal of getting married and having children (I work at an alumni call center and I've never once talked to an FCHD graduate that wasn't a stay-at-home-never-been-employed parent). We politely corrected the elevator man and went on our way. The very next day I was alone in the elevator and the same guy gets on. Not remembering me elevator man asks me what class I'm going to. I told him I was going to my Latin American Government and Politics class and then my Arabic class right after. He instantly said, "Oh, so I'm assuming you're an FCHD major?". Furiously, I looked him straight in the eye and asked, "No, do you just assume that because I have a vagina??". Although that kind of response was blunt and very shocking to the poor peter priesthood, it got the point across. Although it could be considered rude (especially to your in laws) I think it was effective in that it called him out on his behavior and forced him to actually think about why FCHD was his natural assumption. Although he was embarrassed, he had to fish for an excuse for his assumptions in order to not seem like a chauvinistic prick. When he couldn't find a legitimate reason for thinking I was an FCHD major he was forced to face the fact that he was not only being offensive but also slightly misogynistic. I honestly think the comments will stop if you call your family members out while also giving them a chance to defend their thoughts.Miss Victoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15507700281695670093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-45750876641817220632011-06-07T10:39:43.011-07:002011-06-07T10:39:43.011-07:00You know what, Diane, next time I think I will.
I...You know what, Diane, next time I think I will.<br /><br />I don't know why I didn't think to in the first place. For some reason, even after everything, I'm always caught off guard.<br /><br />Erin and Kate: <3 Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I hope to live up to that.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10268689890561878413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-47950027630228527542011-06-06T13:14:56.467-07:002011-06-06T13:14:56.467-07:00Yes, speaking as a "secretary" who wishe...Yes, speaking as a "secretary" who wishes she had done more (but didn't because of the Mormon mindset), I applaud you for your ambition. If I had been in your place yesterday, I would have asked that person who laughed what the laughing was about, and confronted him/her about it. But then, that's me now... not me 30 years ago (and I think that's how much younger you probably are than me). I've found as I've gotten older that I care less and less what anyone thinks of me. Just being me, for myself. Good feeling.Diane Tingenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11233557863633027893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-67911720611549592202011-06-06T10:55:04.165-07:002011-06-06T10:55:04.165-07:00I agree with Priscaknits :) And Erin. You'll b...I agree with Priscaknits :) And Erin. You'll be an amazing teacher. And teach some girls that they can do whatever the hell they want to do with their lives.Kate Edmondsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17205950968235119828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-81186759309618767102011-06-06T08:17:18.056-07:002011-06-06T08:17:18.056-07:00Ew, Lisa, I don't know how you deal with it. I...Ew, Lisa, I don't know how you deal with it. I think I would have gone ape-shit on that guy. Burned some bridges. Maybe ended up in the county jail with assault charges. <br /><br />Geez, I don't wanna sound like a patsy, but judging from the stuff you post here and on facebook, you're going to make a damn good teacher. And, FYI, I always loved my English teachers most.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07752730192463071047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-89694001489909921542011-06-06T06:49:37.558-07:002011-06-06T06:49:37.558-07:00Perhaps you should have asked him if he was worrie...Perhaps you should have asked him if he was worried that you were going to take his job away.Heather https://www.blogger.com/profile/06162897736694546049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-78603924933080155032011-06-05T20:59:22.391-07:002011-06-05T20:59:22.391-07:00He's a teacher, too. There were two teachers i...He's a teacher, too. There were two teachers in the house at the time. Like I said, maybe he was making fun at any idealism I may have (because it isn't exactly the job sane people who are in-the-know may want), but combined with everything else it just dripped with condescension.<br /><br />Pity the fool, yeah.Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10268689890561878413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5816147226417130386.post-44596063803671497652011-06-05T20:48:13.339-07:002011-06-05T20:48:13.339-07:00What do they do for a living? Is it something so u...What do they do for a living? Is it something so unbelievably awesome and necessary to society that they feel they can laugh at a teacher?<br /><br />Seriously. Every time I find out what someone has to do in the course of their job, it's always hideously more involved that I ever imagined. The fact that small-minded, unimaginative, people laugh is just another reason to pity them.<br /><br />Just remember what Mr. T would do, and pity the fool.Goldarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01002035439360220264noreply@blogger.com